SW: 123
GW: 105
UGW: 95
Official Diet beginning: 8/1
*Current weight to be posted 8/8
118 - 9/1 [ ]
113 - 10/1 [ ]
108 - 11/1 [ ]
103 - 12/1 [ ]
98 - 1/1 [ ]
95 - 2/1 [ ]
Hopefully it will go a little faster than this,
but we'll see :)
First of all, there is absolutely no healthy food in my house, at least none that I can actually make anyway because my parents wouldn’t fucking let me. I had to fucking look through cabinets for something because I was so fucking hungry and my dad decided he would buy fucking cookies and fucking icecream and all of this fucking unhealthy shit for Alyssa, but god forbid he fucking buys anything I can actually eat. It’s so fucking frustrating, especially when I really am trying to do this the healthy way, and I don’t want to go back to starving myself, but you know what, when there is no food in the house that’s healthy I’m not going to fucking eat. So, I ask my dad if I can have one of his health bars, and of course he fucking says no. He then fucking makes me sit down with him and my mom so we can have a fucking conversation about my diet, cause he doesn’t think I should be on a diet. When I actually confirmed that I did want to lose weight, he just made me feel even shittier about myself by saying that if I lose weight I’ll look disgusting and sick. He then proceeded to talk about how I’m generally bigger than my sister and how my shoulders are broader and my legs are “stronger” than hers. As if I don’t compare myself enough to my fucking skinny ass sister, he has to go and fucking point it out. He fucking told me that if I keep dieting he’s going to make me talk to somebody because he think I apparently have an eating disorder. Are you fucking kidding me? I have been doing this the right way, and he thinks I have a fucking eating disorder. Funny, when I actually starved myself, he didn’t fucking notice. I just want to lose weight and feel better about myself, I don’t have a fucking disease and I don’t need to go talk to somebody because there’s nothing wrong with me. Whatever, this is just even more motivation to lose weight, although with the stress I am feeling right now, I don’t know if that’s possible. I feel so fucking fat.
